Marriage rates are, surprisingly, on the decline. The latest data released on marriage rates suggests they are at their lowest since the 19th century – but that divorce rates are also at their lowest in over 3 decades. Marriage can be a challenging undertaking even for the most besotted of couples, but the evidence suggests that today’s are more resilient than ever to the challenges marriage presents. But what are those challenges?
Reconciling Personal Taste
For the majority of modern couples, co-habitation comes well before marriage. But, even for them, marriage represents a new stage in their lives – one of a shared life, with shared responsibilities and shared spaces. Though they may have their own spaces in the home for private work and use, their home is ultimately a result of their shared preferences and tastes. For some, reconciling personal tastes with regard to décor can be tough; tastes can easily clash over something as simple as a wall colour palette. Compromise is absolutely key in these situations, and middle ground can almost always be struck. For example, you might agree to keep particularly divisive decorations to private spaces, or to personal sides of a shared area like a bedroom.
Dividing Financial Responsibilities
Alongside the decision to share one’s life with another comes the decision to share finances – whether they be financial responsibilities or burdens. This can be a sticking point for many newlyweds, as disparities in income and a shared bank account can lead to difficult conversations surrounding expenditure, and who is liable for what. Coming to a joint agreement about sharing these responsibilities does not have to be difficult, and simple decisions can prevent animosity. For example, if a couple are renting their shared home and one earns a higher wage than the other, there may be worries about chipping in equally on expensive goods, or their replacement in the event of a burglary or natural disaster. Together they could instead chip in on renter’s insurance to prevent shock expenditures later down the line, and an agreement about proportional contributions could otherwise be made.
Sharing Household Tasks
While less important than their financial situation, often a far more likely source of discord lies in the distribution of simple household jobs, from DIY to the washing up. Expectations can be fostered about who should be responsible for what, and resentment can build quickly without open conversation about the division of labour. New couples should make sure to split housework evenly, and to open up if either feel taken advantage of or over-stressed.
Personal Space
While spending the rest of their lives together is undoubtedly a joyous eventuality, everyone needs time to themselves – to recharge, to reflect, and to grow on a personal level. Marriage removes many barriers, and can make finding time to oneself extremely difficult, especially if there are plans to bring new life into the world. As such, it is important that each partner gets at least a scheduled period of time to be alone, if not a space in which to be alone such as a study or hobby room.
The Big Questions
Speaking of new life, another major challenge could be seen more as an opportunity. After marriage come the next big questions: should you buy a house? If so, where? How about family? Strong opinions may abound regarding these questions, making the gentle approach to them crucial – but ultimately, the answers represent the life a couple wants to live, together.