We all seem to have a part of ourselves that makes us feel a little nervous, whether you are someone who worries about your looks or your communication skills. Some of us are just better at hiding it than others. You worry that you’re not smart or humorous enough, you worry that you won’t have a future as bright as someone else’s, you worry that you’re not attractive or that you’ll never find your special someone. These self-critical thoughts slowly enter your mind and attach themselves to you like nasty parasites. But is that right?
Noticing the people and situations that bring your self-esteem down can help you analyse what to avoid. If you are keeping yourself surrounded by so-called “friends” who make sure of pointing out your flaws, it is a clear sign to find a much better company.
To help you practice self-love, increase your confidence, and to help you conquer your insecurities, you could use some tips that we have put together below.
1. Unfollow everyone who makes you feel low of yourself
Always remember that people on social media only showcase the bright side of their lives with a couple of filters on them. If it makes you feel low of yourself, make sure to unfollow them. No matter if it’s a social obligation for you to stay connected to these people, prioritize your mental health first.
2. Recognize your self-talk
Recognizing your self-talk would be the first step, and then working to improve it would be the second. We suggest this all the time, but the conversation we have with ourselves is so vital in reality. We talk to ourselves every day all day, and to have a positive, supportive and loving conversation with yourself impacts your social behaviour. It can improve everything for you, your mind and your surroundings.
3. Work on your insecurities
Understand what makes you feel low about yourself. If it’s your personality, consider consulting a senior you trust, if it’s money, start a side hustle and realize your best potential, if it’s about how you look, work hard on yourself. These might now give you the best results overnight to beat your insecurities, but will genuinely help you to become a better person, confident and give your long-term happiness.
4. Do things that give you peace and joy
Whether it is curling up with a book or preparing a good meal from scratch, prioritise spending spare time doing activities that give you pleasure and happiness. Consider discovering a new talent or taking on a hobby that you have always wanted to pursue. But apart from making you happy, a great reminder of your strengths and interests is to learn a new ability.
5. Forgiving the past
If a peer or authority figure who criticizes you has influenced your insecurities, consider this. Begin to forgive them. Realize that they were powered by insecurities of their own, grappling with demons of their own. They treat themselves imperfectly, but we all do. They weren’t correct about what they had done, but you can still understand it. Forgive others for their bad behavior, for it does not help you to hang on to bitterness. One step at a time will help you let the past go.
6. Accepting all of yourself
Stop and take an inventory of yourself. Note the aspects of yourself that you may not like, both your body and your inner self. Look at certain pieces of you, and see whether you can give love to them. Nurture your imperfections as no one in this world is perfect and treat yourself to be worthy of love as love often deserves a buddy who is imperfect. Consider how you can treat this imperfect friend, and be yourself the very same way. Give trust to yourself, offer yourself compassion.
7. Try embracing non-comparison
Comparing yourself to how others look, what they are doing, where they are going, how much fun they are having is never a useful analogy, and you are actively hurting yourself. Instead of comparing yourself with others, when you see somebody else, you see them all as apples to your oranges. Be happy to have fun, be happy to be good. They are on a very different journey than you, and they can be happy, and they can have a good time, and so can you, with your path. Wish everyone well, but see how distinct their greatness is from yours.
8. Recognize how you are thinking about others
How you think of others will also shed more light on your present mental state and how your mindset can be changed. If you are always thinking negatively about strangers or someone else in your life, this is usually an indication that our interaction with ourselves is so rough, that now it is leaking out onto other people. Something familiar? We encourage you to push yourself to say positive things regarding strangers and other people in your life. This can change your entire day and mood around. Keeping your thinking optimistic about others would also get you in the habit of carrying those same feelings about yourself.
9. Recovery of your emotional self
If you believe your self-esteem problems might be rooted in experiences as a child, the book by Beverly Engel is an especially useful read. She documents the various aspects of psychological trauma endured by children as they grow up and provides a valuable guide to overcoming low self-esteem. You will benefit from your experience to build a more optimistic self-image by understanding defence mechanisms brought away from childhood.
10. Read self-help books
It will make you feel better if you feel insecure in your relationships, no matter how your loved ones alter their actions. The path to trusting others begins by first trusting yourself. In your mind, not in others’ actions, is the secret to feeling safe in a relationship (whatever kind it is off).
You can start with the following books:
- You are a badass by Jen Sincero
- Girl stop apologizing by Rachel Hollis
- You can heal your life by Louise Hay
11. Talk and work with a therapist
By knowing where they come from, communicating with a trained therapist will assist you in identifying your doubts and insecurities. They could also help you build new strategies that zap your faith in handling situations. This will help you not only cope with your troubles but also creating a safe space within yourself.